Finding Happiness

I've been reading lately- not that this is new.  In my busy schedule I try to get some reading in here and there.  Usually it is in the final minutes of the day, in my bed, by the light of a flashlight (as to not disturb my sleeping husband) - and it's usually only for mere minutes due to the fact that I'm on zero energy and one foot in my nightly coma.  The latest book I've found interest in is called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  I am not necessarily recommending this book- yet.  I haven't finished it.  I can't totally speak for it.  But, I have found it interesting thus far. 

This writer set out to find happiness in where she was in her life- not that she was unhappy, she just wanted to take time to really enjoy the stage of life she was in at the time of her writing.  I found this intriguing, because I'm the type of person who will find myself in a stage of life and wonder when it will end- kids not sleeping through the night stage, kids telling lies stage, kids being picky eaters stage, kids being picky about what they wear stage.  Okay, so my life is revolving around my kids mostly- tends to happen to many homeschooling mothers, I'm sure.  Like Grethen Rubin though, I've often thought, "When I get through this stage, then things will be better- I'll be happier"- etc  And one day I wake up and realize that I have already passed  through the dreaded stage (in fact, I've usually long passed it) and not only did I not find the happiness pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but I am in knee deep in another stage and again, not happy.  Through many of these trips I went from having one child - at 2 years of age to having 8 children- and that 2 year old is going on 17.  Where does time go? 

So, the idea of enjoying happiness in the stage of exactly where I am sounded perfect. 

The book is divided into 12 months, with suggestions that Gretchen found in her research that would bring her happiness.  Yes, HER happiness.  She is very forward in saying that each person's happiness is going to be different and this is HER journey.  Her insight is very interesting though, and I'm enjoying her perspectives. 

Some of the suggestions she has include everything from hugging more to starting a blog.  While I haven't seen any mention of faith in her journey- yet- I have found interest in her knowledge of happiness comes to one if they stop trying to find it in another person (for her, it was her spouse).  She came to the understanding that if you are to find happiness, you have to look at yourself to see why you are not happy. 

This isn't a new idea.  We can't expect others to make us happy.  Such a burden that becomes for that other person.  Hmmmm. . . wasn't I looking at my children to bring me happiness by completing stages?  Yikes!

Of course true happiness is only found in God.  There is that place in us- that "God shaped hole" that only He can fill, no matter how hard we try to fill it with worldly things. 

Once we have that understanding, life will be more joyful- more happy. 

In the meantime, I am having fun finding the humor in the little quirks in life.  Which, by the way, the latest humor in The Clown's life is seeing and laughing at a picture of Mike Myers- I'm not sure why.  It's not even a pictue of him in make-up or costume: 



OKAY- so maybe looking at Mike Myers is a bit uplifting!  I'm at least signing off with a smile. 

Surviving myself with happiness and smiles in tow,
Mary

Sorrow and Stubble

     This past week has held some life lessons- one very hard and one fun. 

The pig stands alone:
   
     Unfortunately, one of our guinea pigs died this last week.  I must say that despite the supposed 4 to 8 years, we hold a constant record of about 1 year.  I'm not exactly sure why this is so- I would categorize our pet care as acceptable- cleaned cage each week, fresh food and water twice a day, regular baths and nail clipping - overall I couldn't complain about how the little pigs live.  Okay, there is an occasional "drop and scamper"- but VERY rare- only once, I promise!  We've learned that pigs cannot fly - no matter how high their tossed.  And, we've witnessed that though not overly fond of dressing up, piggies will tolerate a doll outfit or two.  Again, this is VERY rare treatment.  Mostly our pigs are happy and safe in their cage, whistling and "popcorning" to their heart extent. 

     Our previous pig- Roxanne- was a pet from years ago.  Sadly, one day I went to check that she'd been fed and found her stiff.  There was no explanation for this death.  Our best guess was that she chocked on food. . . at least it sounded good to the kids.

     Our next pig, Mr. Knightly, passed away this last Sunday.  RIP.   When my husband came down to start the coffee before Mass, he noticed a "wheezing" coming from the pig cage.  He came up to inform me of this and after checking on the pig- I knew that he was not long for this world.  Now, personally, I am not a pet person, not really.  But, I hate to have my children experience the death/loss of a pet- especially The Jane Austen Wanna Be and The Cute one who gets everything free at garage sales- they are both tender-hearted.  And, beings that these were the two who took care of the pigs the most, their loss would be harder.  I sent for The Cute one who gets everything free at garage sales to come and be with her pig, explaining that he was going to pass away soon, but she was very blessed to be able to spend his last moments holding him and talking to him.  Though this wasn't a great consolation, I though it would be better to offer this.  I even told her we would go to a later Mass so that she could stay with him. 

     Tears and sobs followed, along with more tears and sobs.  This, of course brought the pregnant, hormone enraged mother to virtual breakdown.  Which brought in The Diva, who promptly joined in, making a three part harmony of cries. 

     Okay, I wasn't really going to miss his THAT much.  I mean, he was just one of the pigs- which meant he was one of the sources to my constant "Have you fed the pigs yet?"  And after the newness wore off- the ritual gather of the pigs from the cage to love on- my involvement was more of a drill sergeant than a loving pet owner.  But, I am a mess when it comes to my kids crying.  Never mind that The Jane Austen Wanna Be had decided that she was having NOTHING to do with the tear fest- she'd remember Mr. Knightly the way he was. 

So viva la Mr. Darcy.  (by the way, these pigs were named after 2 of Jane Austen's famous characters -Mr. Knightley from Emma and Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.  The favorite amongst the girls- both in character and pig- was Mr. Knightly. We probably bragged a bit to much on Mr. Knightley's superior qualities- the character, not the pig- thus bringing the untimely demise of the pig, not the character.)

     Moving past the sorrow- on to the stubble.

     The Baby Boy had his 3rd birthday this last week.  He is growing so fast!  He, out of all my kids, has had a fascination with all things health and beauty-  make-up, lotion, perfume, (hmmm. mostly girl things) and watching daddy shave.  The perfect gift for him thus was the play shaving razor/cream.  I thought this was going to go over well! 

     Who would have thought that the squirting sound of shaving gel coming out of an aerosol can could be so scary?! Needless to say- the shaving gift scored a zero with the Baby Boy. However, the Boy loves it, now along with my various morning greetings from the Boy, "I need a shave."
      An idea just struck The Bookworm and me- her gift was a bearded hat that she made (similar to picture below.) Perhaps if we sneak it onto him during the night, he'll echo The Boy's cries of "I need a shave!" in the morning. Unfortunately a bearded hat is as scary as squirting noises of shaving cream coming out of an aerosol can. It's yet to grace his head.

    

     I love toys that teach life lessons- you know...like the toy vacuum, toy broom, toy lawn mower, etc. Anything that makes play out of life chores is great!
     Did I mention The Baby Boy got a toy chain saw?  Maybe he'll figure out a way to get rid of the pesky cottonwood tree that causes so much allergy problems for us. One can always hope. Unfortunately the talk of chopping down has involved more of things like my chairs, my sofa, my doors. Of course I guess I have to give him leeway on his sawing outside; it is only 20 some degrees lately and Mom is a meanie when it comes to playing in the cold. 

Surviving myself through tears and laughter,
Mary
    

Princesses vs. Transformers

OK, so I'm going to let you into a bit of my horribleness- not all of it, I have to have a shred of dignity to my name.  By the way, I totally blame my pregnancy hormones for the whole incident, but what happened happened.
 
Last weekend I was up at the crack of dawn with The Boy and The Baby Boy, who are both early risers.  That is not good for me- I am NOT a morning person, at all.  Yet nearly every morning between 5:15 and and 6:30 they are greeting me with "Mom, can you change my diaper?" . . . yes.  "Can we go watch t.v.?" . . . no. 

I'd like to say I'd be a more excited about seeing them  each day if it was "Good morning Mom, I love you."  But, truth be told, I'd probably still be a grumpy morning person. 

I must interject here that I've been reading a book with The Diva in her religion class over that last month or so.  It is called The King of the Golden City -

http://www.chcweb.com/catalog/TheKingoftheGtoldenCityAnAllegoryforChildren/product_info.html

It is an allegory about living a Catholic life.  Very good read- lots of valuable lessons.  It's not my first read; I've read it with the previous older 3 sisters.  It's funny how you can read something years apart and it can strike you differently each time.  God does His best work that way though, doesn't He?

This read through talked to me through the main character who was battling "Self"- our conscious- who wants to sleep in just a little bit later one morning.  See where I'm going?  She has to overcome her selfish desires and learn self control. It didn't go to well for her at first, and I'm afraid I had a comparable experience.

The family attended a Saturday Mass this weekend, so the plan was to sleep in on Sunday morning.  I'm sorry, that plan was for my husband and all the daughters of the house- not for me.  (Did I mention that I'm NOT a morning person?  That I treasure sleep- especially in the morning?  Oh yeah, I guess I did.) 

This time was going to be different though.  When the boys were to greet me in the morning, I was going to get up and spend some fun "Mom and sons" time with them.  Maybe we'd play with their trio blocks, maybe we'd play sword fighting.  Whatever it was, we'd have some fun before the rest of the kids got up.
 
5:45 AM and I squashed "self" as I got out of bed an followed the boys to their room.  We made their bed and I plopped down amidst a sea of  Hot Wheel cars.  Suddenly The Baby Boy handed me one of the toy Transformer cars that belonged to The Boy.  It was a bit banged up.  In fact, the two back fenders were popped off.  Not a problem.  I've battled this Transformer before (which if you have not transformed a Transformer, it's not too different than a Rubik's cube- only slightly easier).  So I made myself comfortable on the floor and set to work.

One hour and twenty minutes later, I was still battling "Barricade", and he was winning.  I sill hadn't managed to attach the fenders, and the boys had so moved on to something other than spending time with Mom.  Sadly, I'm not even sure what they were totally up to- I was too engrossed into the challenge that faced me.  I was in it for the principal of it.  No toy was going to get the best of me!  I didn't get a college degree or earn a few degrees in mothering 101 for nothing!! 

I was in so deep that I hadn't noticed The Diva came into the room.  The boys had moved onto playing with her.  They were having fun.  But I was NOT going to let this toy beat me!  They all 3 asked me if they could go eat breakfast.  I told them to go ahead, I'd be down later- after I finished.  

I know, you can so see "Self" was running this show.  I had failed; she was winning.  Not only was I not getting the toy fixed, but I was now in tears- completely aware of how I'd messed up, yet unwilling to give up.  Have you ever been there?  It's not a fun place.  I'd lost control.  I'd lost control over a silly little toy.

Slowly I made my way downstairs.  The 3 were sitting at the table eating and enjoying the Sunday morning.  I slunk past them, headed to the computer, looked up how to fix it, popped the the pieces in place - finished.  Somehow it didn't matter though. 

You know the great thing about life?  Forgiveness.  It is great to receive it.  It felt beautiful to hear my boys to say "It's okay Mom.  And hey, you fixed it!" 

It feels even better to receive it from the Lord.  I think the some of most beautiful words in the world are 
"I absolve you from your sins, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."

If you haven't heard them for awhile, I recommend meeting our Lord in a special place with one of his chosen men.  It's good for the soul!

Take two:

Monday morning.  7:00 AM.  I was sitting at the table with my boys.  We were laughing and having fun as they hovered over their sister's look and find princess book.  Not very manly, I know.  But, they weren't into for the dresses or crowns.  They saw a challenge and they weren't going to back down from it for anything!

Thant's my boys!

Surviving myself as I pick up the pieces and try to control Self,
Mary

Survival?

Well, it has now been almost 2 weeks since we've replaced our carpet in 4 bedrooms, hallway, and stairs and I can say that I'm lovin' it!  And, since I'm am writing this, it means that we did survive the move of 3 twin beds, two sets of bunk beds, one queen bed, 5 dressers, 3 bookcases and I'm guessing somewhere close to 150 shoes and surely 2 tons of clothes (and that was just from the oldest 3 daughters' closets!) 

The great thing about this new carpet is that it is dirt color- meaning that I am enjoying that it hides things well.  Not that I don't try to keep a clean house, mind you - it's just nice to have a little camouflage to help me out!  Plus, we are each thrilled by the "puffiness" of new carpet and pad- so comfortable that I had many of the kids opt for sleeping on the floor instead of their beds. 

So, the labor of moving was worth it- and I have to say, even at 5 months pregnant, I was able to pull my weight and share of the help.  Who knew a very pregnant woman could lift a top bunk bed in place on the bottom one.  Well, okay, it didn't have the mattress in it, but still- not bad, huh?  Honestly though, if it weren't for the older 3 daughters and my father, my husband would have had his hands too full.  He put out plenty of hard work himself though- and I was quite impressed and totally relieved to have the excuse of being pregnant! 

I do have to share though that I am the type of person that hates disorder- enough so that it unnerves me to be surrounded by chaos.  You probably have heard of the show Hoarders?  I couldn't help but be reminded of this show as I sat in my bedroom surrounded by my children's stuff, with only a path to the bathroom and out of the room, just wide enough to fit my pregnant belly through- barely.  AGHHH!  It was mentally painful. 

Even better news about the carpet- it gave us the excuse to go though 3 years of build-up in the house.  Not much removal for my husband and myself, not much for the boys-the girls though?  Well, we are still delivering donation bags to the local second hand store.  It feels very refreshing to clean out and give to others. 

There was one item that I did take out of my own room, and although I didn't give it away, I did give it a new life.  I had a pillow that I had bought- the type that is like an armchair, also known as "boyfriend pillow' or backrest pillow-

It did look a lot like the above pillow- Target $14.99.  I bought it about a year ago to help me to sleep/take my husband's place in bed.  Okay, that sounds weird, but what I mean is that I usually sleep leaning up against my husband.  With him on second shift, and me getting older and unable to stay awake until he gets home, I needed something more comfortable than my fluffy pillows.  Hence- the boyfriend pillow, or as I affectionately called mine- Dwayne.  (yes, that would be Dwayne Johnson- aka "The Rock"- which is what this pillow was as hard as- a rock.  Which was a good thing!  While it didn't replace my husband per say- it did offer a good solid substitute- and if my hubby is reading this, he probably would get a kick out of me looking for something "rock hard" as a substitute to his biceps : ) You're the man honey!) 

But, due to a job change, my husband is now on fist shift and gets to bed a lot earlier - in fact he usually hits bed before I, so I get the bonus of a warm, full bed to come to each night! 

I really no longer have a need for Dwayne, and so I recycled him the living room, by the fireside, thinking that he would make leaning against the fireside much more comfortable.  He was to have a good retirement. 

That was the plan. 

I forgot that I have 2 boys.  Two boys ages 5 and 2.  Two boys who have no concept of respect for Dwayne. 

Poor Dwayne, he looks more like Nick Nolte now- worn out by kicks, punches and slams to the ground- and that was in the first day! 

From this:

to this:

I can only pray that the real Dwayne would be able to survive the horrors of two boys, age 2 and 5!  

I only know that there are to many days that I feel like Nick Nolte looks!  Yes, I can lift a top (okay, empty) bunk bed while 5 months pregnant, but there are days when surviving is the highlight of the day! 

Hoping to survive like (the real) Dwayne,
Mary

New Year, Old Me

Happy New Year!  I hope you all brought in the New Year safely last night.  I, along with the rest of my family shared a few "finger foods"  (which, being pregnant, left me tasting them the rest of the evening), dodged swords left and right as we watched the first Narnia movie (reliving the final battle right in my living room),  and the made a trip to the gym- knowing that it would be practically empty is an incentive for a pregnant woman- especially when she wants to try out the new stepper machine and doesn't desire an audience for it, and then we finished the evening with a chorus of snores as we slept in the New Year.  I would like to say that my excuse for sleeping in the New Year was because I'm pregnant- and that is a very viable excuse, but I also knew that 5:30 AM comes early every Sunday- which is the time I need to get up to get a shower and ready if I'm going to get everyone out of the house for 8:00 AM Mass. 

I feel just a wee bit cheated having Christmas and New Years on a Sunday this year.  I know, I should relish celebrating the birth of our Savior on the Lord's Day and having the Feast of Our Lady on a Sunday too, but it seems like the vacation days were a bit "gypped" due to the weekend holidays. 

Now, if I were an organized homeschooling Mom, we'd hit Monday Jan 2nd off and running.  And if I weren't 5 months pregnant, I'd have the assignments laid out, along with the kids' daily lists ready to go.  Well,  let's just say that my kids are getting a little extended vacation due to the above mentioned and probably due to many other reasons- which I'm sure will not bring any objections from them! 

I am so thankful for the new job change that my husband has made.  He has adjusted to the 1st shift hours well.  I am also thankful that the change brought about an extra paycheck- which we were all to eager to spend on carpet for the bedroom and stairs.  It was so nice picking out the carpet, exploring the possibilities, imagining the floors not stained from 24/7 foot traffic (at least for a month), that I forgot how much work it was going to be to move furniture from 4 bedroom in just 3 days.   What was I thinking?!?  I told my husband that I would love to be the "he-woman" that I usually am and tear down bunk beds (2 sets of them), moved dressers, and clear out closets- but let's face it- I'm old and I'm pregnant.  Not to mention I'm always tired! And I'm pregnant and old.   (There is no excuse like being pregnant to get out of some things!!)  We'll see how this adventure goes- starts this week- you know, the week we are supposed to dive back into school, choir practice and symphony practice.  Nothing like dumping it all at once! 

But, back to my wonderful excuse- pregnancy.  I keep saying that I'm going to get a picture of the sonogram up.  I actually have 2 of them.  I may have to differ to The Jane Austen Want to Be for the technical side of that. I see she has already placed the "baby ticker" on the blog- which I swear makes the days seem longer than shorter-  14 MORE weeks!?!. 

You'll have to let me know if you can make head or tails of them (better not be any tails!).  I'm sure a lot of my readers have had enough experience with sonogram pictures that deciphering them is easier than grading 9th grade algebra!

God's blessings to you all on this New Year.  May you find multiple reasons to celebrate and praise the Lord for all He has done!

I'll have to update on the carpet install/likely husband with back thrown out saga.  

Overwhelmed but surviving myself,
Mary

Updating!

Hi everyone!   I've been messing on the computer while I'm on school break and saw this widget (to the left) and knew we had to have it - hope you enjoy! You can click the weeks and days on the widget and it swaps to how much time is left and how much time has past. 
   As much as I tried to convince mom that we needed a pink baby countdown, she said no.  But she is almost all the way convinced that it is a girl.
  Does anyone have any good baby names? We are right now leaning towards Sophia Mariel, but not 100%.  - and haven't sold Dad on it yet either.  Comment the names or e-mail them to us! (maybe we'll have a poll to decide? :) )
   Hope you have a great New Year!
Born in the wrong century,
Jane Austen Wannabe

Popcorn Night!

I love traditions, not just the Christmas ones, but the year around ones too! 

One of the traditions that I started with my family was what we dub "popcorn night."  It hits on Wednesday nights and consists of popcorn, of course, and playing a board game.  Over the years we have grown from Candy Land and Hi-Ho Cherry O to some really fun games that we've just recently purchased:  Quelf, Wits and Wagers, and Logo to name a few-all of which I completely recommend.

This tradition has been brought to mind lately because Christmas family gatherings, for us,  always mean board games.  This season we've just attended a few family gatherings, games in tow. and we have at least one more to gatherings to go.  While my husband is usually found off talking to adults, I weasel my way into the teen or children's tables with one or two games, and we generally start having so much fun that the adults in the area are soon joining in also.     

I think why our popcorn night tradition is so meaningful to me is because when growing up, I was always the one (out of the 6 family members) who wanted to play a board game.  Yet, in thinking back to all the times that we did manage to pull together as a family around a game, I only have memories of one or more of my sisters and  maybe- only maybe- myself, bringing the game to an abrupt end- because someone wasn't following the rules, someone wasn't fair, or someone was breathing on someone else!  (Close family time can be SO stressful!)   I do have to say though that growing up I can only recall two games that we tried- Monopoly and Clue.  Both of these games are a push to include parents down to ages four or so- at least without some kind of fight taking place.  All that considered, I am a sucker for board games and now have a closet full to choose from each Wednesday night. 

It's not all bliss.  There are still arguments.  There are many times when at least half of us are just not into playing a game.  There are times when the game gets canceled altogether and a movie takes its place.  Yes, there are complaints about someone breathing on someone else!  (I know, I'm too touchy!) But, we are all together with a common goal. . . so, I love it!  Now that my husband (as of this past week) has taken a job on first shift, he too will be included in on the tradition- despite the fact that he is not a big game player.
Too bad! 

I never knew that this traditions meant much to my kids as it did to me until once when The Bookworm  was staying a couple of nights at Grandma's and was very insistent that she return home by Wednesday so as to not miss popcorn night.  (Warms my heart!  Guess all the arguments that accompany tradition are worth it.) 

Now that my kids are growing up, taking on jobs, committing to outside activities, it gets harder to hold popcorn night.  But we do our best, even it it means having "Popcorn Tuesday."  I hope that as they continue to grow and move on that they will know that the door is always open on Wednesday night and the popcorn is popped and waiting!  And who knows?  Maybe someday I'll drop in on one of my childrens' houses and find the same tradition occurring, complete with "Mom, make him stop breathing on me!!"

Surviving myself on each and every popcorn night,
Mary