Yikes, Momma Didn't Tell Me About This!

Childbirth- it is not necessarily what I would call fun.  In fact, if it weren't for the beautiful baby one holds after all the work, I'm not sure how worth it all the pain would be.

Even as I try to type this post, with Jewel #8 sitting on my lap, fighting for my attention, I can almost still feel the pains of childbirth like it was yesterday.  Surprisingly, on my lap  now sits a 5 month old!  Where does time fly?  But, as for the pains, I've been privileged? to have experienced those all to familiar birthing pains but just a few weeks ago.

No, I've not given birth to yet another.  I've been diagnosed with kidney stones- multiple ones-  in both kidneys.  Multiple- as in 3 or more for each side.  So, if we do the math, that is at the very least, 6 fun episodes of passing to go though.  Actually, I have managed to pass a few, so I'm hoping to only have about half left.

Just like childbirth, some of the episodes were a bit more bearable than others.  One passing was, however, leaving me crying for an epidural-so painful was it!  Funny though- also like childbirth, there was a feeling of euphoria after passing it- like "Whew!  I feel so relieved" and "Whoa ! I could take on just about anything  now, knowing that I survived!"  AND don't forget the feeling of "So glad that is done and that I won't have to go though it again!". . .wait a minute, I guess I do :   (

What is a bit harder to take is that the doctor has no explanation as to why my body is producing the stones.  

I can only thank God for my kids- especially my older 5 girls- in going through this.  They are incredible!  When needed, they jump into action and do what's necessary to keep order so I can retreat into hours of  pain.
 

It's just to bad that the end result isn't as cute and adorable as my little Jewel!

Surviving myself and hoping to keep the stones rolling,
Mary

Yes, I think that song is about me.

I'm so vein. . . yes, vein.

I love my kids.  I love that the Lord has blessed me 8 times over with wonderful, healthy children.  I would not change a bit of that.  Well, just one tiny thing- 8 pregnancies has taken a toll on my body- leaving what has become dubbed my "pregnancy tattoo."  This is a series of veins that wrap around my ankle and travel up my leg.  When I am pregnant, my "tattoo"  glows a purple/blue- and it's anything but praise to KSU/KU.

I've not done anything about this issue because there was always the possibility of another baby coming along and making corrections moot point.   But, and I'm not counting out the possibility of another beautiful blessing from God, our insurance deductible is now met- due to Jewel #8, and it seems like it might be a good time to look into doing something about the lovely "pregnancy tattoo."

Now, that this surgery is a reality, I'm trying to decide if I'm really just. . .  vain.

Friday I go in for a consultation to see how vein/vain I am.

The answer will be quite clear- insurance pays, it's a go. .  . insurance doesn't pay, I'm heading to a tattoo shop to put on some finishing touches.  Just kidding- I don't think my shadow will ever grace a tattoo shop.

I love those little reminders that speak beautiful truths of how a woman's body looks after pregnancy is a testimony to her being pro-life.  I find that statement poetic.  And most women who have given birth can tell you that there are changes in her body that she'll have to deal with the rest of her life, yet the changes are totally worth it (She usually has no problem reminding her offspring of these changes when in a heated discussion-after all, a little guilt goes a long way!)

My only problem is that I don't like the yucky feeling I get when I see other women who look great in shorts and skirts. . . while I think about how I'm so vein!


Surviving my post pregnant self,
Mary

Wow, it's HOT!

I know, it's been near another month since my last post. . . where does time fly?!
So, the kids and I have been trying to deal with the 100 degree plus summer days.  So far, the favorite past time is complaining and fighting.  Please tell me my house isn't the only one this occurs at!  

Last week we celebrated The Jane Austen Wannabe's  and The Clown's birthday- since they share the same birth date.  Normally this isn't a big problem.  Although Topeka doesn't boast of lots to do for families  -make that lots to do for large, financially savvy families- there are a few things we do like to do for special days:  putt-puff golf, park trips, zoo visits, go-carts.  Yet, none of these are even close to enjoyable when the thermostat reads 100 to 116!

We decided a movie might be the route. . . but we were hesitant to do so due to the same attempt we did on The Diva's birthday.  Let's just say we made a quick exit- all 10 of us- when the language got "rough."  And that was a PG movie!!  Man I hate paying (even at the "cheap" theater) for a movie and leaving early.   So, we thought we'd rent the latest movie that the kids wanted and  pop it in our Clear Play player.  (By the way, if you don't know what Clear Play is, Google it- we've have it for years and highly recommend it!  http://www.clearplay.com/ ) 

The evening went by with a decent flick, lots of candy, a huge sugar high, followed by a sugar low and then to bed.   It was OK.  Maybe just not the best way to celebrate.  But we didn't die of heat, compromise our morals on movie choice, and got an excuse to pig out on candy.  Somehow it didn't feel very "special" though.  Maybe, it's because we do this activity (movie watching, not the pigging out on candy) on a weekly basis.

Oh well- here is the deal-  what, if any,  ideas do you and your family do when it gets hot, hot, HOT outside?

I'd love to hear from you, and share your ideas.  I'm getting exhausted of telling my little ones that they can't go outside because the rubber on the trampoline is melting and to ride a bike in this heat would be signing a death certificate.  Let me know your suggestions!  Remember, ideas need to be affordable- no trips to amusement parks or the like.  And suggestions that incorporate the whole family are getting the A+ from the teacher!

Surviving myself. . .while looking for cooler, 90 degree days,
Mary

T-I-M-E

T-I-M-E spells. . . something I don't have a lot of.
Well, that is not entirely true, I do have time to coo at a baby for at least an hour in the morning.  And I do have time to get a cup of coffee and read a library book to my 2 boys in the morning as I nurse a baby.   I am incredibly blessed? to have lots of time to wear my pajama's- usually into mid-morning.

I stew over the time I don't have though.  I feel sometimes I don't have time to enjoy the little everyday treats that will gone in the blink of an eye.  I don't usually have time to pick up a good book either- unless I excuse it as a book I will read to the kids out loud.  I don't have time to be too fashionable (I'm probably okay on that though as long as I don't embarrass my teens too much.)

And, since this bog post is overdue, I'm stating I don't usually have time to sit at a computer : )

A couple of weeks ago my husband gave a great anniversary gift that made me take time.  He took the family to the Omaha Zoo in Nebraska.  My kids have been asking for the past 2 years to go, but there was always an excuse-  a baby too young to travel that far, a toddler to young to travel that far, a busy schedule, or, course No Time!

I made sure to treasure this time-mostly because I am aware of the fact that as my kids grow older the opportunity of us going on vacation all together grows less and less.  I remember in growing up myself how my older sister missed out on the Europe trip because she had moved out of the house.  While I don't plan on traipsing across Europe anytime soon (or across Kansas either) I have to chuckle when The Jane Austen Wanna' Be laments that all the family fun stuff will start as soon as she moves out.

There were some great memories that I will hold from the trip and I love, love that my husband gave me the opportunity instead of a material gift.  One of the "cutest" moments was when we checked into the hotel and the kids-being kids-were checking out every nook and cranny of the room (yes, I said room- as in singular room,  all 10 of us in a room with 2 double beds.  Kids laying on the floor, stacked on the bed, behind doors and the like.  Shhhhh, don't tell.  I do believe there is some "hotel law" about having only 4 to room, but we aren't on the level of getting 2 or even 3 rooms to stay the night.  So, we "take shifts" in hotels- shifts entering, shifts going to breakfast, shifts to the pool- you get the idea.  Heaven forbid one of the kids would actually call room service.  I fear it would cause a scurrying at such level- like cockroaches when the lights are flipped on!)  Back to the point.  The middle ones stepped into the bathroom to see if it could be any cooler than the ones we have at home and sure enough- it was!  From inside the bathroom I hear "HEY MOM!  Guess what?!  There is a coffee maker in here!  Just think tomorrow morning you can have a cup being made right here while you get ready!






Oh the fine things in life!

T-I-M-E. . .get some- enjoy it, treasure it.  You know, like a brewing cup of coffee right within reach of you toothbrush.

Taking some time to attempt to survive myself,
Mary

Nothing Like Motherhood!

This post is a bit late according to the calendar- but enjoying motherhood is really a year round gift. 
So, to start off- Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers! 

I am in the eighth "season" in motherhood- as you know since the arrival of Jewel.  Mother's Day hit at a good time - when my hormones are all still jumbled from giving birth (just exactly how long can I claim that as an excuse?!) 

The day before Mother's Day was one that I balanced on the edge of explosion (see previous post) - once again, hormones!  By the end of the day I was feeling resentful towards many of my children.  I really cannot even tell you what the upset was all about.  The bad thing was that I wasn't feeling like celebrating Mother's Day- partly due to the anger and partly due to my guilt of the anger. 

My husband has a good way of keeping things in perspective though.  When I had texted him with my "AGHHHH!" - he reminded me how precious my life is-  I have one at the age of taking college classes all the way to one who is a complete mama's girl (Jewel has her favorite. . . and it's ME!) 
I needed that reminder on how wonderful life is. 

Isn't it so easy to get caught up in the frustration of life to actually forget to enjoy it? 

Seven of my kids are gone today- in fact, they are gone for the night- at a homeschool camp out with their father.  They were all so excited about going- even The Baby Boy, whom we were not going to let him go, but decided to give it a chance anyway.  The kids were so excited that they were in "grouchy-mode."  You parents know what I mean, right?  Each one thought they would be in charge of the others and well, 7 bosses is not a pleasant thing.  For days the threat of "You're going to lose the camp out!" hung in the air like smog.  Up until the final minutes, when The Jane Austen Wanna Be got into it with The Diva- over something silly. 

I found myself saying-  "I can't wait until you all leave for the camp out- I need some QUIET!" 

Be careful what you wish for- especially when it comes to emptying the house.  After the kids left (surprisingly all 7 were able to go) I floated around with Jewel on clouds.  Actually we just floated upstairs to take a nap.  It was so nice!! 

When I woke up, I was slammed by the silence.  Dead silence.  I laid there with Jewel and tried to remember when it was that I had a house to myself with just a 1 month old.  Well, I won't give you the answer in years, but it has been so long.  So long that I had to remind myself to enjoy it- to stop worrying about my children and just enjoy the gift of silence. 

I hate to admit that I did really contemplate going back to napping : P  Hey, I don't get that pleasure very often!  But, I knew there were chores to be done.  So, with Jewel in wraps, I set off to the laundry room.  The older 3 girls had their laundry started and I figured I'd help them out and keep it going since their weekend was going to be busy.  As I sorted through teen clothes, I pulled out a onesie of Jewels.  I had forgotten I'd thrown that in with their clothes.  As I checked it to see if the stain came out, and laid it down next to The Jane Austen Wanna Be's shirt, it struck me again. . .

(hormones!) 

What a size difference in the ends of my "children sandwich."  How sweet it was - the reminder of how blessed I am with what God has given me.  

Time is an enemy.  The Jane Austen Wanna Be will be a senior next year.  She is already out of the house quite a bit with her college classes and work.  The Bookworm will start driving this summer.  The Clown has grown taller than all my kids now.  The Boy is catching up in height with The One Who Gets Things Free at Garage Sales (BTW- garage sale season is upon us and I think #5's "cute factor" charm is wearing off- she may have to start paying for her purchases at garage sales!)  The Diva is asking to stay up later at night, The Baby Boy bloomed in size- mostly in comparison to Jewel.  My heart is breaking at these time changes.  I MOURN because of them- and yet it was I that couldn't wait to get them out of the house and just have silence! 

Ah motherhood, what complicated treasure! 

I am going to end now- I need to stop, less I end up in tears.  It is also time to turn on the t.v. to so I can hear some noise- at least for a little while.  Then, I am going to gather Jewel up in my arms, climb into bed and treasure the moment.

Surviving myself in motherhood,
Mary

Sunshine and Lollipops. . . NOT!

Yesterday marked the 3rd week since Jewel #8 was born.  There is a record that I broke in that time.  Before having Jewel, the older girls took bets on how long it would be before Mom has "The Day" which is when she locks herself and the baby in her bedroom and declares herself off limits to EVERYONE!  -Mostly due to 1.  lack of sleep effecting Mom, 2.  Mom having it up to here in hearing the kids fight, and 3.  handling, or attempting to handle the disruption of  daily schedule-and either myself or the kids not dealing with that.  The last two births, it didn't take long for me to hit "The Day."    I'd say less than a week.  (Hey- you have to give me that the last 2 births were winter births- cloudy, snowy, yucky days!)  This time, however, I made it to day 21 before blowing up on my kids, heading to my room, locking the door, staying in there for a good long number of hours- where I fully enjoyed the peace and quiet shared only with Jewel and myself.  It was heaven! 
I hate to admit that I couldn't control myself in dealing with The Diva- but she is called the Diva for a reason!  A full day of constant contradictions and sassy come backs lit my fuse.  To be fair, I did "feel"  The Day coming on-  hormones, hormones, hormones! 

I did have the boys' soft knock-knock on the door a couple of times.  To this, I promptly redirected them to one of the their 3 older sisters.  That went well until The Baby Boy tugged at my heartstrings by saying he had a tummy ache and the only way he would feel better was to have me hold him downstairs in the kitchen.  So, I  opened he door and melted at his sad little face.  Downstairs, in the kitchen, he went to sleep in my arms immediately. 

So, I write this post because I want it to be known that I so don't have things down as well as I may appear to.  My kids can help me in my short comings a lot- but they alone (not even their Dad has the full story) know how Mom falls apart now and then. 

There is a small benefit to falling apart sometimes-  it is a wake up call to my kids that Mom can and does explode like a load of dynamite- and look out when she does.  It puts them on high alert to be extra good for at least the next day or two.  That's good!  Really good! 

The downfall of exploding is of course that I feel like poo about how I acted/reacted towards my kids.  I really, really hate that. 

Wouldn't you know that I had just gone to confession last week too!  Oh well, my confessional has a revolving door on it : P

As I looked down on The Baby Boy's sleeping face- I kept thinking about how God must view me when I experience The Day.  Aside from great disappointment, I picuted Him holding me as I myself was holding my son- who risked Mom's wrath to be closer to me.  How often does God take abuse from us, only to lovingly hold us close to his heart when we finally repent?

:Let me answer that for you- often.  Much more often than we deserve. 

Thank you Lord for loving me through my shortfalls.  Thank you for children who love me - despite my shortfalls.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to seek forgivness when I fail.  Thank you for extending that forgiveness, over and over. 

Tomorrw is a new day.  The Day is now over.  I am loving my job as wife, mother and teacher.  Never- NEVER in a million years would I change it.  I just hope I don't have to spend to much money in psychology bills for my kids due to their up bringing!

Admiting that sometimes I cannot survive myself,
Mary

PS- yes, Jewel still looks like Toby Jones- but she is slowing growing out of it. . . I hope!!!  (see pic.)

She's Here!!

Okay, okay- so I'm really late on adding a new post- but for good reasons!  Jewel #8 was born on Monday April 9th.  She weighed in at 7lb 13oz and 19 inches long.  Mom was thrilled at the weight- I was expecting a 9 pound toddler!  Labor was long (11 hours) but worth every bit of it to see her beautiful face.  It would have been GREAT if the epidural would have lasted to the end of labor, but good things rarely do. . . leaving me to show the Jane Austin Wanna Be what hard labor is really like.  (She wanted to be present at the birth and I consented, knowing that she was interested in nursing - especially neonatal nursing.  Nothing like seeing the one you love go pass a watermelon for the sake of saying "I was there!")  Had to LAUGH though when her comment was "That wasn't that hard."   

What?!? Guess I should of had her stand in where I was! 

So, I am going to keep this post short and end on a weird note. . .

Don't let everyone know, but I believe I've given birth to Toby Jones' clone!  See for yourself-

                                                                                     Sofia

 
                                                                              Toby Jones

                                                          Looks like a "totally looks like" to me! :)

Maybe I should leave you with a better impression- she really is quite cute! -

There we go- much better!

Glad to be "un-pregnant" and working on surviving myself with raging hormones!
Mary