Last weekend I was up at the crack of dawn with The Boy and The Baby Boy, who are both early risers. That is not good for me- I am NOT a morning person, at all. Yet nearly every morning between 5:15 and and 6:30 they are greeting me with "Mom, can you change my diaper?" . . . yes. "Can we go watch t.v.?" . . . no.
I'd like to say I'd be a more excited about seeing them each day if it was "Good morning Mom, I love you." But, truth be told, I'd probably still be a grumpy morning person.
I must interject here that I've been reading a book with The Diva in her religion class over that last month or so. It is called The King of the Golden City -
It is an allegory about living a Catholic life. Very good read- lots of valuable lessons. It's not my first read; I've read it with the previous older 3 sisters. It's funny how you can read something years apart and it can strike you differently each time. God does His best work that way though, doesn't He?
This read through talked to me through the main character who was battling "Self"- our conscious- who wants to sleep in just a little bit later one morning. See where I'm going? She has to overcome her selfish desires and learn self control. It didn't go to well for her at first, and I'm afraid I had a comparable experience.
The family attended a Saturday Mass this weekend, so the plan was to sleep in on Sunday morning. I'm sorry, that plan was for my husband and all the daughters of the house- not for me. (Did I mention that I'm NOT a morning person? That I treasure sleep- especially in the morning? Oh yeah, I guess I did.)
This time was going to be different though. When the boys were to greet me in the morning, I was going to get up and spend some fun "Mom and sons" time with them. Maybe we'd play with their trio blocks, maybe we'd play sword fighting. Whatever it was, we'd have some fun before the rest of the kids got up.
5:45 AM and I squashed "self" as I got out of bed an followed the boys to their room. We made their bed and I plopped down amidst a sea of Hot Wheel cars. Suddenly The Baby Boy handed me one of the toy Transformer cars that belonged to The Boy. It was a bit banged up. In fact, the two back fenders were popped off. Not a problem. I've battled this Transformer before (which if you have not transformed a Transformer, it's not too different than a Rubik's cube- only slightly easier). So I made myself comfortable on the floor and set to work.
One hour and twenty minutes later, I was still battling "Barricade", and he was winning. I sill hadn't managed to attach the fenders, and the boys had so moved on to something other than spending time with Mom. Sadly, I'm not even sure what they were totally up to- I was too engrossed into the challenge that faced me. I was in it for the principal of it. No toy was going to get the best of me! I didn't get a college degree or earn a few degrees in mothering 101 for nothing!!
I was in so deep that I hadn't noticed The Diva came into the room. The boys had moved onto playing with her. They were having fun. But I was NOT going to let this toy beat me! They all 3 asked me if they could go eat breakfast. I told them to go ahead, I'd be down later- after I finished.
I know, you can so see "Self" was running this show. I had failed; she was winning. Not only was I not getting the toy fixed, but I was now in tears- completely aware of how I'd messed up, yet unwilling to give up. Have you ever been there? It's not a fun place. I'd lost control. I'd lost control over a silly little toy.
Slowly I made my way downstairs. The 3 were sitting at the table eating and enjoying the Sunday morning. I slunk past them, headed to the computer, looked up how to fix it, popped the the pieces in place - finished. Somehow it didn't matter though.
You know the great thing about life? Forgiveness. It is great to receive it. It felt beautiful to hear my boys to say "It's okay Mom. And hey, you fixed it!"
It feels even better to receive it from the Lord. I think the some of most beautiful words in the world are
"I absolve you from your sins, In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
If you haven't heard them for awhile, I recommend meeting our Lord in a special place with one of his chosen men. It's good for the soul!
Monday morning. 7:00 AM. I was sitting at the table with my boys. We were laughing and having fun as they hovered over their sister's look and find princess book. Not very manly, I know. But, they weren't into for the dresses or crowns. They saw a challenge and they weren't going to back down from it for anything!
Thant's my boys!
Surviving myself as I pick up the pieces and try to control Self,