I'm sitting here typing and rubbing my very big tummy- and wishing that it was not so big- or more correctly I should say, wishing I was holding a baby in my arms instead of my stomach.
When I was pregnant with #1 through 7, I was always comfortable in saying "I'm not sure that we are done yet." But with #8, I'm finally experiencing the feeling that I could not fathom myself saying -"This is it!"
Okay, I wound never tell God no. If He said, "Not done yet," I'd accept His will- maybe with a little questioning, but I'd accept it. I picture in my mind being my mother's age and homeschooling still and I feel sad for the child, because he/she will have an old fogy for a teacher.
Wait a minute, some of my favorite teachers were older. Hmmm. No, the older I get, the more I look for "ways out" in my teaching. I really spent all my creativity on my older children when they were younger- which they totally don't remember about 3/4 of all my wonderful teaching experiences! (Like a totally cool homemade planetarium that ROCKED! Or science WITH experiments- other homeschooling moms- you know what I'm talking about!) Anyway I can so easily justify just reading about how the experiment should work now, or calling on an older sibling to explain the math problem, because after doing it with 3 kids, my brain hurts to try to explain it again.
Who knows though- maybe I'll be like Sarah (Old Testament) who bore a babe in her late age. Perhaps her laughter was more about "Oh Lord- you want me to change diapers when I'm old enough to have to wear them myself?!?" Or "Lord, do you have any idea how hard it is to chase after a toddler when I'm leaning on a cane?!"
Stop- I've always said that having children helps keep you young. There is truth to that too. I've still "got my foot in the door" to the teen world, pre-teen world and toddler world. If I didn't have kids, I don't know that I would be involved in any of those worlds. So, I do have youth at my finger tips, you could say.
I recently put in Google "pregnant and tired" and felt so relieved in what I found there. Many of my problems were not near as severe and it felt good to have companions in those problems I did face. Many good laughs came from that search.
My kids do their own searches on Google that are pregnancy related too- but they usually involve "cute baby pictures" or the like. They are all excited about the baby coming. I'm there with them sometimes- but still am trying to gear myself up to the next chore of taking care of a baby- outside of the womb.
The last 3 children I've had, I went through a "I'm locking myself and the baby in the bathroom/bedroom because I am going crazy with everyone fighting over the baby or just plain fighting." time. I totally expect to have to go though it again this time too. It's really hard to try to please everyone for the first 2 weeks or so after having a baby! The bigger the family gets, the more of a challenge it becomes.
It's time to end this post on a high note.
I am so very, very thankful for 7 wonderful, healthy children, that although they fight and bicker amongst themselves, do indeed have great redeeming qualities, make me laugh and wouldn't trade one of them for the world.
And, even though my ageing body is caving under the weight of a baby, I don't have any serious health risks that I'm fighting- just minor inconveniences- Thank you Lord! (Although, I'm so probably going to have to put in a lot of purgatory time for my lack of suffering in this world.)
And, I do have a bit of creativity left- I'm in the middle of making a "I need something to do" jar for the kids to keep busy with when I'm gone having the baby. Thanks to Family Fun magazine idea, I'm loading a jar with craft ideas and game ideas to keep them occupied and myself sane- hopefully!
So, I'll sign off this post with-
Surviving my pregnant self- who knows, maybe my next post I'll be rubbing my un-pregnant, flabby belly. . . UGH~that brings about a whole new set of complaints!!
Mary
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